Jul 25, 2015 2 min read

Q. I have a problem with my oldest daughter. She has always been a selfish child. For years, we did not get along, and many times, we stopped speaking.

She popped back into my life last October through a Facebook chat. She was separated from her husband and had left her teenage children. She blamed everything on him and I believed her.

She visited me one day and asked to borrow my mother’s ring, but I said no. I always wore it. Mind you, it’s not worth any money. It only has sentimental value. But when she dropped by another night and asked, I said OK. She promised to give it back. After a few weeks went by, I asked her to return it and she claimed I had given it to her to keep. I corrected her and said I only let her borrow it.

She has since blocked me from her phone and Facebook page. Her husband has informed me that she is seeing a man at her job who is 20 years younger, and that she has started partying, drinking and possibly using drugs. He says he barely knows her anymore. I asked her husband to tell her that I want my mother’s ring back, but she refused his request as well. I am heartbroken. What can I do? – Hurt Mom

A. Not too much. You voluntarily gave her the ring, which makes it her word against yours that it was only intended to be temporary. You could threaten her with legal action, but actually doing so would cost both of you and might make the relationship irreparable (although we know some readers would think that’s a positive outcome).

Some children don’t turn out the way we hope, no matter how much we love them. Your daughter sounds like an irresponsible, selfish person. You may need to consider Grandma’s ring to be her inheritance, and for your own peace of mind, please try to forgive her.

Email questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254