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‘The Royals’ is entertaining, but lacks true British humor

4 min read

Life is so boring now that the real-life British royal family seems to be behaving itself. Oh, how we miss those ginger princes cavorting naked in Vegas, the randy topless duchesses getting their toes sucked in view of the paparazzi, the messy divorces among the immediate heirs to the throne. Even the corgis are behaving themselves: They haven’t taken a nibble out of another canine in a couple of years. Gone, gone are the anni horribiles of the past.

What a perfect time, then, for the E! entertainment network’s “The Royals,” premiering at 10 p.m. Sunday.

As the first scripted series for a channel that thrives on shallow, “The Royals” is moderately addictive, but at the same time somewhat disappointing: It’s not, dare I say it, dumb enough to be as funny as its marketing campaign would have us believe. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that E! is suddenly playing it classy, but at times, “The Royals” seems to be in contention to help “Downton Abbey” fans alleviate fifth-season withdrawal.

Created by Mark Schwahn, “The Royals” borrows a bit from the real royal family but far more liberally from fictional depictions of royalty – any number of the prince and me movies like, well, “The Prince and Me,” not to mention “The Princess Diaries,” “Royal Wedding,” and on and on. And there are a couple of wickedly hideous and hilarious cousins who bear a resemblance to either “Cinderella’s” stepsisters, or perhaps the Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice, daughters of Prince Andrew and the toe-suckee, Sarah Ferguson.

There’s even a bit of Shakespeare tossed into the mix, since, of course, when you think E! Entertainment, your mind automatically goes to “Hamlet.” Or is it “Troilus and Cressida?” One of them.

Queen Helena (Elizabeth Hurley) is the swanning villainess of the piece, manipulating her well-meaning husband, King Simon (Vincent Regan), the staff, the press and, when she can get away with it, her twin children, Prince Liam (William Moseley) and his over-medicated sister Princess Eleanor (Alexandra Park), who routinely burns the candle at both ends and the middle as well.

The series begins with word that the actual heir to the throne, Prince Robert, has died, advancing Liam to heir apparent and upping everyone else on the extended list of Simon’s potential successors.

But is Liam ready to have the burden thrust upon him? At the moment he learns of his brother’s death, he’s just waking up from a one-night stand with Ophelia (Merritt Patterson), the American-raised daughter of the royal family’s head of security, Ted (Oliver Millburn). Following in the grand tradition of under-prepared “spares” to the “heirs,” Liam has to get up to speed rather quickly, but in the meantime, he seems to have fallen in love with Ophelia, which doesn’t fit Queen Helena’s grand plan.

The unquestionable highlight of the series is the mother-and-daughter reunion between Queen Helena and the Grand Duchess of Oxford, played by none other than Joan Collins. You have to wait a few episodes for Dame Joan to make her appearance, but when she does, it’s grand in every way. Collins and Hurley play well enough against each other, but it never quite reaches the kind of catfight we recall from Collins’ “Dynasty” days. Still, Collins’ claws are as perfectly manicured as ever and she knows how to command attention.

What “The Royals” needs is some real British humor, the kind of cheekiness regularly displayed in the puppet caricature series “Spitting Image.” Of course, Americans have often tended to be more respectful and in awe of the royal family than the inhabitants of the sceptered isle themselves, and that may be one reason that E!’s “The Royals” is entertaining but disappointingly toothless.

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