Nov 10, 2015 2 min read

Q. My mother has never been a big eater, but in the past year, she seems to have developed a serious eating disorder. At age 62, she skips meals regularly and has shrunk to a bony 90 pounds. Her skin is sagging, her hair is thinning, and she is very irritable.

Mom acts superior about her size and often criticizes others’ weight or eating habits. Oddly, she watches cooking shows all day, swaps recipes with me and cooks for everyone else. But she only eats her own “special” food. When I call it to her attention, she denies it and says she’s simply watching what she eats.

I think it’s ridiculous that a woman in her 60s is behaving like a teenage girl. I am her only daughter and apparently the only one in the family who realizes what a big deal this is.

I have cut back on my visits because I don’t want my young daughters to be exposed to such a terrible female role model when they already struggle with their own body image issues. What should I do? – Worried and Annoyed

A. Please try to be less annoyed. Your mother sounds anorexic. While you are right that anorexia is more common in teenage girls, it can affect both men and women of any age. This is a mental health problem. Mom’s self-worth is tied to how thin she is, and she doesn’t recognize that she’s in serious trouble.

Anorexia can cause heart problems and bone loss, kidney failure and even death. You cannot force Mom to seek help, but you can get information and suggestions on how to approach her by contacting the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (anad.org) and the National Eating Disorders Association (nationaleatingdisorders.org).

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