Annie’s Mailbox: Many successful people harbor insecurities
Q. I work in an office with nine other people. For some reason, my boss likes to share every boring detail of her personal life with us. We smile, listen politely and laugh at her “hilarious” anecdotes. This might be bearable if she showed any interest in our lives, but she doesn’t. Occasionally, with one foot out the door, she will ask, “How are you doing?” but it’s obvious she wants a quick answer at most. If she joins a conversation already in progress, she takes over and seems compelled to top whoever is speaking. She always has a bigger, better, funnier or more dramatic story, at least in her mind.
Why does she do this? She is bright, talented and accomplished in many aspects of life. Why the need to be the star? She constantly has to send the message: “My life is exciting, your life is nothing.”
I hope people will read this and ask themselves how much time they spend talking about themselves compared to how much time they spend listening to others. Is there anything we can do to change this? – Arizona
A. Your boss, like many outwardly successful people, still harbors deep insecurities. This is why she feels the need to prove that she is the most important and interesting person in the room. And because she is so focused on her own behavior, she has few brain cells left to devote to her staff’s personal lives, nor, frankly, does she need to. Your personal lives are not her business. But she is still your employer and if this is the worst thing she does, we’d put up with it. You are handling it perfectly – you smile, listen politely and laugh when called for. It’s annoying, but harmless. Just try not to roll your eyes.
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