Dear Annie: Brother, sister need to find middle ground
Q. I had a falling out with my elder brother. It happened when the whole family had gotten together for Thanksgiving dinner.
My husband, Kurt, had been laid off about a month prior and hadn’t yet found a new job.
My brother kept telling Kurt what he “should” do and how no company would want him if he were to be unemployed for too long. Kurt was polite through the unsolicited career counseling session.
After dinner, we quickly excused ourselves and went to the other room to play with my niece.
At one point, Kurt went to use the bathroom and overheard my brother telling my dad that he doesn’t think Kurt has any ambition. Kurt whispered the incident to me, and I flipped.
I was livid with my brother. I told him that he did not have the right to judge anyone, and that he was being a total and complete jerk. We left, and I haven’t spoken to my dad or brother since.
However, none of this had anything to do with my sister-in-law or niece (my brother’s daughter).
I miss her, and I’d like to be around my niece more often. I feel stuck. I don’t want to put her in an awkward situation, but I also don’t want her to think that I am angry with her or that she is part of this turmoil. – Sister-in-Limbo
A. Blood runs thicker than water. It’s wonderful you value your relationship with your sister-in-law, but your relationship with your brother is even more important.
Imagine how regretful you’d be if something happened to him and you’d left things on a sour note. It’s time for you two to reconcile.
Find a middle ground; perhaps agree to disagree about Kurt’s job situation. Though you’re the little sister, you’ll have to be the bigger person.
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