Dec 22, 2017 4 min read

The holidays can be stressful for anyone. But for someone with autism, the excitement and social expectations can be especially upsetting.

“The biggest thing that is a concern is the change of usual routine,” said Rachel Schultz, a mental health therapist who works with children and adults on the autism spectrum at Wesley Family Services. “There is more comfort in knowing what to expect. At the holidays, there is no structure of school, there are decorations, people that aren’t usually home, different work schedules. It’s difficult for people with autism to know what to expect.”

Autism, or autism spectrum disorder, refers to a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication, according to the organization Autism Speaks. There are many types of autism caused by different combinations of genetic and environmental influences. One in 68 children is diagnosed.

People with autism generally prefer a regular routine and structure. Get-togethers, meals and parties disrupt that routine. The stress that regular caregivers experience during the holidays also can cause stress to a person or child with autism.

“People in their lives may act differently during the holidays. That can confuse and upset someone with autism,” said Schultz. “It’s important to explain why people are acting differently.”

Schultz, who has been an autism therapist for more than 20 years, said preparation is key.

Regular caregivers should talk about what’s going to happen during the event and can even practice before.

If a person is hosting a guest in their home who has autism, the host should discuss a plan with the caregiver before the big day.

“They should find out what the triggers are,” said Schultz. “Smells or noises or crowds. If a host knows what triggers to avoid, it can be very helpful.”

Meals and food options should also be discussed, as many people with autism follow a special diet.

Before offering physical displays of affection, like hugging or kissing, family members and loved ones should check with a caregiver. And, although well-meaning, guests or hosts who witness someone with autism become distressed should not just jump in and try to help.

“It’s best to rely on the people who know the person best,” Schultz said. “So jumping in and trying to pat someone on the back can actually make it worse.”

It’s a good idea for hosts to prepare a quiet space, away from gathered crowds, where a person with autism can go to take a break. Usually, the best place would be dimly lit and quiet.

“For most people, it’s a coping skill to take a break or ask for a break if they’re getting overwhelmed,” she said. “A place where they can go and sit, and do something they like is very helpful.”

If someone does become upset or a get-together is disrupted, don’t take it personally, advised Schultz.

“It has so much more to do with the environment,” she said.

Last-minute shoppers who still need to purchase a gift for someone with autism should speak to their caregiver or closest loved one.

“Everyone is different, but a commonality of people with autism is, there is usually some topic they are extremely interested in,” said Schultz. “If you know what that topic is, give them something to do with that.”

Wesley, a nonprofit organization that provides a variety of behavioral healthcare and therapeutic support services in Southwestern Pennsylvania, has a facility on West Chestnut Street, Washington. Entrances and sensory rooms designed for people with autism are available. Schultz and other staff provide autism-specific therapy to individuals and families.

For information, call 412-342-2270 or visit www.wfspa.org.