Can kindness be good for your health?
MetroCreative
You may have heard the phrase “random act of kindness” describing something someone does out of the goodness of their heart – maybe holding the door for a stranger, bringing a coworker a cup of coffee or offering to help a friend move without being asked.
Such spontaneous and unexpected acts of civility and kindness can go a long way in making someone’s day or helping boost someone’s mood. But did you know that practicing kindness each and every day can actually be good for our physical and mental health?
Scientists actually have studied the effects of kindness, and a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology in 2020 found that performing acts of generosity boosts happiness and well-being. As far as physical benefits, the study showed evidence that being kind can improve health, including lowering blood pressure in some study participants. Psychologists point to what they call “pro-social behavior” toward family, friends, strangers and yourself leading to increased feelings of well-being.
Grace Giedgowd is a licensed clinical psychologist with the Center for Adult Anxiety and OCD at Allegheny Health Network (AHN). She focuses on providing science-supported psychotherapy to adults experiencing anxiety, OCD, insomnia, and related concerns.
“Not only is kindness something that we’re often encouraged to strive for, but research suggests there is a benefit to ourselves when we offer kindness to others,” says Giedgowd. “Recent studies have found support for the relationship between completing acts of kindness or generosity and an improvement in overall well-being, happiness, and even lower blood pressure. There is also evidence to suggest that certain types of contributions, such as getting together with a friend in need, can enhance our feeling of social connectedness.”
How does it work? She points to cortisol, which is a stress hormone.
“Greater levels of cortisol often relate to more severe feelings of stress, emotionally and physically,” Giedgowd said. “As kindness leads to lower cortisol, we’re giving ourselves a gift while we’re taking care of others. Interestingly, there is also a positive link identified between kindness and immunity.”
Another way practicing kindness makes us feel better physically is by giving us a rush of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine.
“They help with communication in our brain,” Giedgowd said. “When we experience a boost of serotonin and dopamine, it can enhance feelings of happiness and reward. Making efforts to support these neurotransmitters, such as through practicing kindness, can keep depression at bay and lead to an overall feeling of satisfaction.”
Even the act of practicing or trying to practice kindness can help improve mental health when we’re going through a prolonged period of emotional crisis, especially when we can’t resolve our own crisis immediately.
“Sometimes, when we’re feeling low, spending time contributing to others, such as through volunteering or helping a neighbor in need, can help us cope through tough times, and increase the likelihood of a change in perspective or emotion,” says Giedgowd.
Why is it hard to be kind?
If kindness benefits our mental and physical health, why is it so hard to practice sometimes or seemingly impossible for some people on a daily basis?
“Sometimes, kindness can be hard to come by when we’re interacting with others, especially when they’re doing something that we disagree with, or make our lives more difficult,” says Giedgowd. “Some of the blame here lies with our brain: Our brain must take in and filter down information at a very high speed. Because our brains are quite efficient, we often take a shortcut in our thinking in these moments, such as concluding that others might be hurting us on purpose, or we might label them as a nuisance or incompetent.”
In those instances, she recommends we check our knee-jerk reaction to others and consider other explanations for why someone might be acting in each way. Perhaps they just received bad news about a family member or are rushing around because they don’t feel well physically. She recommends we put ourselves in the other person’s shoes.
“Considering these other ideas as alternatives to our knee-jerk shortcut thought helps us foster cognitive flexibility, which can help us with kindness and benefit our mental health.”
Be kind to yourself, too
Other people aren’t the only ones who could use some kindness. Don’t leave yourself out of the equation and be sure to practice self-kindness as well.
“One of the biggest challenges that I often see in psychotherapy is difficulties with self-compassion or being kind to yourself,” Giedgowd says. “Some people may be very good at being kind and compassionate toward others but have difficulty offering the same kindness inwardly. In this case, it is important to foster self-compassion – for example, if you’re being critical of yourself, take a moment to think about what you might say to a friend in a similar situation, and consider offering those same thoughts to yourself.” That could start with something as simple as not being so hard on yourself when you make a mistake.
The main goal is to start each day by asking yourself how you can practice kindness. Simple thoughts and actions can add up, such as telling a friend a joke, giving someone a compliment or sending a friend a card or text. Not only can being kind help relieve daily stress and improve blood pressure, but it can also help to gradually create happiness, which goes a long way toward improving our mental health.