Teen wonders about depression
Q. I’m honestly confused. I should be feeling good about life and about myself. I’m finishing my first semester at college. I’ve made friends, I think I’ve adjusted pretty well, my grades are all A’s and B’s, and I like my classes. I was a little homesick at first, mostly for my younger siblings (although I don’t think I’ll admit that to them. They’re teens and I don’t want to give them power over me LOL) Why am I writing? The holidays are soon, and I’ll be coming home for a break of almost a month. It makes no sense to me, but I fear I may be depressed. I know how strange that sounds – like, why wouldn’t I know if I’m depressed? But I don’t know. What exactly is depression? I’ll tell you how I feel. I’ll be going through my day and suddenly I feel this wave of deep sadness come over me. It’s more than being upset by something – it’s pervasive. I look around at campus, I notice my classmates walking to and from classes, and I think, “what are we all going to do with our lives?” Then I’ll think about my parents and grandparents getting old and dying and I’ll think – I should go back to my room and just go to bed. I’m getting so that I genuinely don’t want to get up in the morning. I do get up, but I don’t want to. Nothing jazzes me anymore. I’m not eating much at all, I’ve stopped socializing. Is this depression? I’m not suicidal, but I wonder, if this feeling persists, could I end up that way? If it is depression, how do I get rid of it? Can I make myself feel better by talking myself into being happy? – 18-year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: I’m so pleased you reached out. Seeking support is a good way to start figuring out what’s happening. You can certainly find ways to take care of yourself, but I believe professional mental health help is the key to you feeling better. In my experience, a positive mindset helps, but talking oneself into happiness without support isn’t easy.
Let’s talk about depression. What is it? According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression is typically characterized by a variety of symptoms including:
Sadness, anxiety, or an “empty feeling”;
Feeling irritable, frustrated, or restless;
Feeling hopeless or pessimistic, guilty, worthless, or helpless;
Losing interest in things that previously brought joy;
Feeling fatigued, difficulty concentrating, or disruptions in sleep schedule;
Changes in appetite;
Thoughts of death or suicide or suicide attempts.
Depression is a result of multiple factors, such as biology, negative life events, and stress, and depression can happen for seemingly no apparent reason. You seem to have adjusted well to college, but going away to school is a huge transition. It’s possible the changes are catching up with you. Holidays can also be stressful; you’re returning home and switching locations and roles. It can be confusing.
It’s not unusual for a person to be unsure of how to label their feelings. I’m sure your college has a counseling center – make an appointment to talk with the counselor there before you leave for break. There’s no stigma in seeking mental health support; we would never walk on a broken limb, would we? We seek help for physical health challenges all the time – this is no different. Please give them a call.
If your thoughts get overwhelming, you should reach out to a resource like the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They’re available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to support you via call, text, or online chat at no cost.
Congrats on a good first semester. The sooner you connect with a professional, the closer you will be to feeling like yourself. Good luck.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.