Your vote is your own
Q. I’m 18 and I’m excited about voting for the first time. Can you please tell my family to let me make my own choices? My parents and my grandparents won’t leave me alone. They’re acting like my vote is their vote. It’s not. I have my own thoughts. This country means a lot to me. I leave for the Army in the fall. I’m going to take an oath to support the constitution and protect our nation from all enemies, foreign and domestic. I’m smart enough to know who to vote for….please print this in your column and ask them to back off. Thanks. – 18-year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: Here you are! It’s my pleasure to print your request.
I agree with you, yet I do understand your family. Let me explain. I was raised in a very politically aware family. I remember my papa and his brother arguing about candidates in our kitchen, but they were never mean-spirited, nor did they indulge in name-calling. My mama was very well read and could quote facts connected to the economy and world affairs. They took me with them to the polls as a young child. They were excellent role models for the importance of voting in every election.
Yet, despite their awareness and involvement, they never tried to influence my vote. I didn’t vote at 18, because I turned 18 during a controversy. My generation had to register for the draft and the Vietnam war was a real concern. Lowering the voting age to 18 was discussed as only fair, since young men could fight in a war at 18. I was over 21 when I was first able to vote.
I respected my parents a great deal and asked them their opinion. They shared their candidates and their choices, but then my papa told me, if I was old enough to vote, I was old enough to read and research and make my own choice.
As a parent, I know I want my children to make good choices. I’m sure your family feels the same way, but your vote is yours, not theirs.
Communicate your needs. Be respectful and gentle, but also firm. Listening to their ideas is your choice, but so is your vote. Vote your conscience. You’re correct – it is your vote, not theirs.
I appreciate and honor your commitment to our country. Good luck and thank you.
Q. I don’t know how I’m going to make it to the election without my head exploding. My family cannot agree on the presidential election and I’m sick of hearing them argue. What can I do? They don’t listen to me. – 16-year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: Please read my response above. Voting is a vital part of our nation’s well-being, and my family’s example taught me how to agree/disagree with respect. Once again, communication is key. Simply tell your family you don’t want to be involved in their arguments and then leave the space whenever possible. You have the right to live peacefully. I hope they listen to you.
Peer Educator Response: We know what you mean. Some adults are out of control with this election. Just walk away, or listen to music, or talk with friends. Come to the Teen Center – we’re a safe space where all are respected.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.