Oct 9, 2025 3 min read

Q. Something really awful happened. My mom’s best friend has a daughter who committed suicide. I didn’t know the daughter that well, but I observed her mom grieve and my mom got all worried about me. I’ve felt depressed off and on in my life but I’ve never even thought of ending it all. She was two years older than me. It gives me chills to think someone my age would not want to live. I feel helpless. What can I do? – 15-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: I’m so glad you wrote. Suicide does leave those who grieve with feelings of helplessness and a wish that time could be reversed, and we could help. My first answer is to support your mom. Her worry about you is normal. Communicate with her. Be honest about your mental health and assure her that you’ll reach out to her if you feel depressed.

You wonder what else you can do. I’m happy to discuss suicide, but first I want to offer a little wisdom. Like many people, you wrote the teen “committed suicide.” Mental health professionals advise us to avoid those words. Instead, say something kinder, like, “took their own life” or “died from suicide.” The word committed is connected to the days when suicide was considered a sin or a crime. Words matter.

As a teen, you are in a life-affirming position. Your peers may talk with you before they talk with an adult. I believe teens can be Ambassadors for Mental Health and help one another. Here are some steps you can take:

Listen. If a friend tells you about depression, do not ignore their pain. Respect them. Suggest they talk with a trusted adult and, if necessary, go with them to meet with guidance at your school or a trusted teacher/coach/parent.

Recognize signs of suicide. Studies show 9 out of 10 teens who died by suicide showed signs of depression. Our Outreach is starting two educational programs to empower teens. The first is SOS (Signs of Suicide) Suicide Prevention. SOS is taught in schools and provides an exit ticket for teens to seek help. Reach out to me if your school is interested.

Become an Ambassador for Mental Health. Teen to teen connections encourage mentally healthy choices. Our Adolescent Advisory Board is training its board members in Teen Mental Health First Aid (tMHFA) this year. The board meets monthly and ends the year with a Youth Conference at Washington & Jefferson College. If you attend a Washington County school or are homeschooled/cyberschooled in the county, contact me for information.

Take care of you. Feelings of isolation/loneliness can be common in adolescence. Remember you’re not alone. Practice coping skills like breathing exercises and relaxation.

Know the number to call for help. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available when someone is facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns, or just needs someone to listen. It’s free.

Know your limitations. While you can be supportive, you’re not a trained counselor or therapist. Get help from trusted adults.

Suicide is difficult to talk about or even think about, but I believe education is our best way to prevent it. I hope to hear from you.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.