Adjusting to being away at college
Q. I’m a first-year student in college. It’s the college I wanted but now I’m not so sure. I thought I was ready to be this far from home, but I miss my family. Honestly, I miss everything – my bedroom, my house, my cat, my friends. I even miss my high school, and I was so excited to leave it! Is this normal? I’ve always been a social person, but all these new people are intimidating me. I took all the AP classes my high school offered and Aced them, but this is college! I want to succeed, but maybe I’m not ready to study at this level. Can I adjust? – 18-year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: Absolutely! You’re feeling homesick and, after only a few weeks, that’s perfectly normal. Missing familiar things like your home, your family, and your cat, is a reaction to change. You’re still a social person. Give yourself grace and time. Stay focused on your goals, stay in touch with your family and friends via Facetime and calls, and move with confidence onto the path you’ve chosen. Many dorms allow pets – find out if your cat is welcome.
Here are some hints for adjusting.
Believe in yourself: Stay positive. You can do this. Be kind to yourself as well.
Get involved: Check out clubs and extracurricular activities on campus. Volunteer; the easiest way to move past changes and feelings of intimidation is to give of your time. Go to meet-and- greet socials and other events for new students.
Attend classes: There’s a direct correlation between attendance and academic success. Success in class should ease some of your stress. Give yourself a chance to do well. Yes, college classes may be harder than high school ones, but if you did well in all those AP courses, you’re capable of academic success here.
Eat and sleep well: You will function best if you’re healthy, so eat nutritious foods and try to sleep a reasonable amount.
Manage stress: Use centering breathing, mindfulness, yoga, or any technique that helps you relax. I’m sure your college has a counseling center. Stop by and pick up information on stress management and introduce yourself to the staff there. Seeking a listening ear is wise and doesn’t mean you’re having trouble, it just means you’re wise enough to prevent a crisis.
Communicate well. Tell your professors your needs, initiate conversations with classmates, and stay in touch with home. Be honest with yourself. If you need to arrange time with family, do so.
Maintain healthy relationships: Set boundaries, especially if you party. Be smart. Avoid drama and conflict, but handle challenges with confidence and assert your needs. You are worthy of respect.
Peer Educator Alumni Response: No one was more homesick than me four years ago, and now I’m a rising senior thinking, “How will I ever leave this place?” Give yourself time. Listen to Mary Jo’s wisdom – you’ll get there.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.