May 4, 2013 5 min read

WAYNESBURG – Imagine a job where you must be present 24 hours a day, seven days of the week, with little to no opportunity for a break. That is the reality of those whose loved ones are not capable of independent living because of some type of medical impairment.

There are opportunities to help prevent caregiver burnout if one knows where to go. One such option is Eldercare, an adult daycare program at 1505 S. Morris St., Waynesburg. The program is offered for those over 60 with a functional impairment that requires supervision.

Pastor Darlene Hann of Waynesburg found herself in the position of caregiver to her husband, Ron, 66, when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Taking care of Ron quickly became a full-time position with on-the-job training, she said. The Hanns moved in with Darlene’s sister, Jackie Gray of Waynesburg, who works in Morgantown as a hospice nurse. They inhabited the second floor and Gray lived on the first until Ron began to lose his way. Darlene worried about him wandering down the stairs at night and possibly becoming lost. She and Ron moved downstairs to what used to be Jackie and Darlene’s mother’s suite.

When being alone was no longer an option for Ron, Darlene pulled out a long-term-care insurance policy they had bought to see if it might cover adult day care. She was surprised to learn that it did.

Eldercare operates Monday through Friday. Ron attends four or five days a week. It is an opportunity for Darlene to have a mental health break, to shop for groceries, take a nap, get a haircut even. It gives Ron and opportunity to get out, build puzzles, play games, and socialize with other adults. A licensed practical nurse is on site with regular reviews by a registered nurse of participants. A hot lunch and snacks are provided.

“He likes it here. He likes the people,” said Darlene. “It is a place where these are his friends. It has become a part of his day.”

Sitting across the table from Ron at the Eldercare facility one notices quickly his warm smile. The personality of the man Darlene, calls “the sweetest man in the world,” still shines through the effects of the disease that has taken so much from him so quickly.

“The kids noticed before I did. I was too close to it,” Darlene said. “They said, ‘Mom, something’s not right.’ I made excuses for it – job, stress.”

It was during a session of Vacation Bible School that Darlene realized her children were right. A game that involved repetition of short phrases was played. Darlene said the first person would say something like, ‘I’m going on a trip and I’m taking graham crackers.’ The next person would say, ‘I’m going on a trip and I’m taking graham crackers and a ball.’ The game continued with the next child in line repeating what was previously said and tagging on a new item.

“Ron (who was also playing the game) was at the end. He couldn’t remember a single one,” Darlene said. “The incidents added together were stacking up.”

The Hanns decided it was time to see a specialist. Doctors at Montifiore Hospital in Pittsburgh determined Ron’s cognitive skills were evaporating. He had been using coping mechanisms to camouflage the deterioration. If a word escaped him he would simply find another word that fit, Darlene said. Looking back she could now trace the symptoms back several years.

Darlene said you begin to look at your stack of rules but there are no rules for this so you begin to make new ones.

Ron listens intently as Darlene shares their love story that began when Darlene took a shine to a young director of music at a church in Uniontown. Circumstances drew them away from each other for three years but, “He saw the light,” Darlene said, laughing. Thirty-five years later they have had their share of ups and downs.

“We said, ‘joy and sorrow; sickness and health.’ We are not talking about a cold over the weekend,” Darlene said. “When a virus hit my heart and it was functioning at 15 percent he was there for me. That’s the promise we made. We are in a new chapter, doing things differently and we’ll get through this.”

When Darlene explains her path to receiving a master’s degree in divinity when their children were 12 and 7, she lays much of the credit at Ron’s feet. The family had a six-week menu posted and the first one to come home would get started setting the table and getting dinner ready. It was Ron that made it happen, she said.

“He let the finances and the housework happen so I could go full time. I finished in 2 ½ years,” she said.

“I needed to do it,” he said, referring to making it possible Darlene could go to school. It was one of the few moments Ron expressed himself clearly and without frustration.

One of the things that Darlene misses most is Ron’s ability to play the piano. This past Christmas was when it hit her the hardest, hearing others play.

Darlene has found some comfort through the Alzheimer’s Association’s 24-hour hotline and the monthly Greene County Alzheimer’s Support Group held the first Tuesday of each month at 7 p.m. at Golden Living Center in Waynesburg.

“You can call them (the hotline) and say, ‘I’m so lost. Have you heard of this,'” she said. “With the support group it is so helpful not to feel so alone.”

The Eldercare program is funded, in part, by the Southwestern Pennsylvania Area Agency on Aging Inc., and the Pennsylvania Department of Aging.

For more information, contact senior referral services at 1-800-734-9603. The 24-hour Alzheimer’s Association Hotline is 1-800-272-3900.