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Five readers found lasting relationships online

9 min read
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Rhonda Jacquay and Tim Bradburn have been married five years. They met online after Bradburn responded to a Yahoo Personals advertisement created by Jacquay.

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Alicia Jankowski and Colin Wilson met online and have been married for four years.

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Corey and Tammy Anderson met online.

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Ken and Wendy Frank on their wedding day in 2005.

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Alicia Jankowski and Colin Wilson met online through a weightlifting forum and have been married for four years.

Cupid may be depicted traditionally with a bow and arrow, but among his tools in the 21st century would surely be a laptop computer or a smartphone.

While love may bloom because of a smoldering gaze or the sweetest-ever smile, a mouse click or the tap-tap of a keyboard certainly has just as much to do with searching for Mr. or Ms. Right. In fact, online dating has become a billion-dollar industry, and a 2013 study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found more than one-third of U.S. marriages begin online.

When looking for those who found love online, a query went out last month through the Observer-Reporter’s Facebook page. Here are some of their stories. The last three are first-person accounts.

Alicia Jankowski of Chartiers Township met her husband, Colin Wilson, through an online weightlifting forum a decade ago.

“I did not go into this with romance in mind,” said Jankowski, a dental assistant. “Back when we met, it was taboo. It made it look like you were desperate.”

Jankowski wanted to compete in the female division title of the world’s strongest man competition, and she was seeking advice on how to train. Wilson, a weightlifter who lived in Ohio, and Jankowski became acquainted online over the course of about three years. He was in the process of divorce when they met for the first time in Columbus, Ohio, at the Arnold (Schwarzenegger) Fitness Classic .

“That’s when the sparks flew,” she recalled. “He gave me a hug and it was, ‘Oh my gosh, I don’t want to leave these arms.'”

Their first date – attending a concert – was a few months later.

In 2010, their wedding bells were the clanging of barbells. It was the second marriage for each of them.

“We actually got married in the Cameron Wellness Center in the gym,” she said. “He wanted to go to the York Barbell Museum. There goes that dream of walking down the aisle at IC.”

The wellness center may not have the vaulted ceilings of Immaculate Conception Church, but it is a venue for birthday parties. Those attending their wedding, Oct. 16, 2010, performed by a Lutheran minister who competes as a power lifter, wore casual attire, worked out and then went to The Meadows Casino to continue the celebration.

Jankowski’s advice to someone contemplating online dating is to allow “a measured response. Give yourself time to think about it.” And another part of her advice would likely make any English teacher smile. Those posting online are likely revealing their education, or lack thereof. “Are spelling and grammar important to you?” Jankowski asked.

Rhonda Jaquay, who hails from the Houston-Hickory area, composed a profile through Yahoo Personals at a time in her life when she was a single mother of nine, divorced after 20-some years of marriage. She said she was working two jobs.

“I really didn’t have time to meet anybody,” she said. “I played games on Yahoo. I did everything there. Of course, you know, you meet the good, the bad and the ugly. My order was so tall, I wanted to chase people away.”

Tim Bradburn answered her personal ad. Their early interactions did not portend well.

“At first, we just talked,” she recalled. “I had Yahoo Messenger. I thought he was so boring!”

He sent her an instant message one day, asking her out on a date.

When they met in person, she was wearing a skirt and platform shoes. He wanted to ride bicycles at Ohiopyle. He decided to buy her more appropriate shoes, but at the store, his credit card was rejected. Jaquay bought her own shoes, but Bradburn, at an ATM, tried his card again. It worked that time, and he stuck the cash in her purse to pay her back.

“I thought, ‘brownie points,'” Jaquay recalled.

After pushing pedals, they went to a nightclub at Station Square, and another man asked her to dance. Not only did Bradburn not object, he seemed happy that she was enjoying a spin on the dance floor.

“I looked over to (Tim) and he was smiling. I thought, ‘He’s going to be my next husband.’ We were together, oh man, probably eight years before we finally got married. You keep looking for red flags. You keep looking for things that are wrong with him. My kids love him, my grandkids love him. He’s been awesome.”

She warned others who might be looking for love online, “Back then, it was a lot safer. I would be so careful. It takes time to get to know somebody. A liar can’t hold that lie for a long period of time. Today, you have to be more than cautious. People reinvent themselves on the computer. They need to know when they take this chance that time is the key. Not six months, not 12 months, years. It’s taken me all of that 14 years to know who he really is.”

This is how Wendy Frank of Coal Center describes her experience: “After raising three girls (the last one married an Army man and went off to live in Savannah, Ga.), I decided with an empty house to seek out a companion/husband for this new place in my life. I joined many online dating sites to start my search.

I wrote that I had a house in the country, with a Jeep in the driveway, that I have blue eyes and that I’m blond, petite/short and enjoy the simple things in life. Wanted: a kind man, hard worker, believer in God, good morals.

“I decided not to post my picture. I thought if looks were all he was interested in, then he was not for me.

Ken decided to get online. He had attended singles clubs without much success, so he posted his profile: ‘Needed: a country girl not afraid of snakes, mice; willing to work alongside me, relocate to a small farm.’

“He had a very long list of pros and cons. Among them: nonsmoker, believes in God, good morals, likes to travel, enjoys life.

“We emailed, exchanged phone numbers and began to talk.

“On our first date, we decided to meet in a public place for lunch. We lived about an hour apart and he came to my neck of the woods.

“We hit it off immediately, enjoyed each other’s company, and we decided to spend the day together.

“I felt he was trustworthy. (Go with your gut.) We went to Station Square on a sunny May afternoon. We talked all day, walked hand-in-hand and ended with a kiss. It was the perfect date.

“He proposed to me after seven months with a roomful of roses and we married two months later, Feb. 21, 2009, at the Century Inn in Scenery Hill with about 50 guests present. It was quaint and simple, with family and friends. Performing the ceremony was a justice of the peace willing to come to the inn. My dress was cream with little red buttons down the back to the small train, simple but beautiful.

“The love affair continues today, seven years later, and we believe it will last to the rest of our lives.

“In summary, never give up. Follow your heart and love will find you!”

Here is Tammy Anderson’s story: “On Dec. 11, 2005, I said ‘hello’ to my husband for the first time. I was working late and I was tired. I came home and got on my computer and I had a message to check out this profile. Now, mind you, I had given up looking for Mr. Right at the end of October that year because I figured if he’s out there I will find him one day. When I went to the site dotmate.com, I had to register to even get anywhere near looking at anything. Once I had registered, the profile I was going to look at was nowhere to be found. However, a profile of a gentleman, Corey Anderson of DuBois, came up on my screen and I clicked on it. I liked what he stood for and what he was about, so I said ‘hello.’ We talked for what seemed like forever. We met face-to-face Dec. 13 in a public place and we sat and talked for hours. (After he ran out of gasoline, I had to lend him gas money to get home.) I knew right then and there he was the one. “Actually, I knew from the moment I said hello.

“He came down for Christmas that year where we met each other’s children. And in January, he moved down here to be with me and asked me on Jan. 23. to marry him. We were wed Oct. 14, 2006, and, together we have a daughter who turned 7 on Jan. 11.

“We just celebrated nine years together, eight as a married couple and we could not be happier. Plans are in the works already for us to renew our wedding vows at 10 years. We live in Bentleyville with our family and love every minute.

“Thank you for taking time to see that true love does not always come from a childhood sweetheart or in a bar or from a cheesy pickup line.”

Melissa Gayle Matthew shared this: “I was living in Ecuador when I went online and joined Match.com and a few other sites to start dating after a year of being single. I saw my boyfriend’s profile first and sent the first email hoping for a reply. After a few weeks, I was coming back to Maryland where he lived so I could graduate with my second degree. We planned our first date for the Wednesday after I flew back home to Maryland. Our emails while we were on separate continents were just the beginning of a lifelong love letter that continues today. We want to get married and both are so thankful for the Internet in bringing us together.

“My boyfriend and his family are from Washington-Greene counties. His name is William Alexander Parry. I actually am from outside New York City and Will is from Washington. Since we have been dating I have taken many trips up to the Washington area and it is amazing up and out there: So many green hills for miles and miles and coming over those mountains from Baltimore, where we both live now, is incredible. This city girl is loving the part of the country her boyfriend and his family are from.”

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