How to avoid losing friends with political discussions
With the presidential election approaching in November, it’s become hard to avoid political discussions.
Whether it’s on social media platforms like Facebook or Twitter or face-to-face conversations, voters with differing views have found themselves battling it out on nearly a daily basis.
But for voters who find themselves in these debates, Sharon Schweitzer, international etiquette expert and founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide in Austin, Texas, said there are ways to engage in or decline these discussions without losing friendships.
Schweitzer believes social media has had a profound effect on political discourse for the 2016 election.
“With social media and more channels for people to share opinions and with us to be able to see more of what’s behind the scenes, I think we’re seeing a lot more being exposed,” Schweitzer said.
She advises that those who do choose to engage in political discussions to show respect to the other party.
“Respect is universally understood,” Schweitzer explained. “Whether you’re in the U.S., social media or another culture, it’s important to show respect.”
Schweitzer recommends that those who want to engage in a political discussion should express their beliefs by citing research and concrete facts to express their opinions. She said this will encourage more of an intellectual conversation than a possible contentious war of opinions.
“Let’s say you do have a disagreement,” Schweitzer added. “You’re going to want to handle with grace, dignity and respect.”
Regardless of whether people disagree, Schweitzer said to never raise your voice, show your anger, abruptly walk away or make it personal.
“Just as you want to express your beliefs, be courteous and let the person you are speaking to express his or her beliefs, even if you disagree,” Schweitzer said.
In the case that a political discussion does become heated, Schweitzer said there are ways to defuse the situation to save relationships. She said the best way to steer the conversation away from heated topics is to know or observe something about the person.
“If they went on vacation, steer it toward that direction,” Schweitzer explained. “Say something like ‘I’m really not comfortable talking about politics right now, but I’d really like to hear about your trip.'”
Observation can also help to segue to different topic.
“If you see they have a pin or a T-shirt that you can discuss instead, use that to change the conversation,” Schweitzer said.
If those options do not seem to work, Schweitzer suggests simply shaking the other person’s hand and explaining you don’t want to speak about politics or another method of respectfully bringing the conversation to a close before it becomes heated.
However, political discussions on social media present a challenge, as the option of a friendly handshake is impossible. At times, a complete stranger might even step in and try to incite anger.
Schweitzer said she and her colleagues recommend to just “step away” from a heated discussion on social media – especially if it’s a stranger.
“Go get something cool to drink. Take a break. Do a little meditation. Then ask, ‘Is this really worth my time?’ and take the higher road,” she said. “Usually it’s not worth engaging.
“If they’re trying to get under your skin and yank your chain, don’t let them do it.”
Some people might want to take the high road early on and avoid all political discussions. In these situations, Schweitzer recommends having a “toolkit” of conversation starters prepared to avoid political topics.
Some potential conversation starters Schweitzer recommends are discussing a movie both parties might have seen recently, recent vacations, recent positive and nonpolitical news events or even pets.
“Pets are great,” Schweitzer said. “Asking people about pets can really create a lot of rapport and that’s what you want to build with people.”
If changing the topic fails to assauge the uncomfortable discussion, Schweitzer still recommends ending the conversation respectfully and excusing yourself.
Regardless of what point of view one is representing in a political discussion, Schweitzer believes that keeping it respectful is the most important aspect.
“There’s a way to engage in a respectful conversation that makes you a cheerleader for democracy,” she said.