French family experiencing life in Southwestern Pa.
Thierry Ramette, left, and his partner, Martial Vanderpol, right, with their son, Quentin.
Thierry Ramette, left, and his partner, Martial Vanderpol. The pair came to the United States for the birth of their son, Quentin, and returned later when Vanderpol accepted a position with a medical company.
Editor’s note: This is one in an occasional series on immigrants in Washington County.
When Thierry Ramette and his partner, Martial Vanderpol, decided to start a family, they opted to have a child using a surrogate.
But surrogacy is illegal in France, so the pair, who were living in Lyon, turned to a surrogacy agency in New York City.
The agency connected the couple with a woman who donated the eggs, and another woman in Idaho, who carried the baby.
On Oct. 11, 2012, Ramette and Vanderpol were in the delivery room for the birth of their son, Quentin, 7.
“I am very grateful to the United States because we have a son today,” said Ramette, 49. “In France, we do have liberties and human rights and you can do some things, but in other ways, sometimes we are not on the top.”
Two weeks later, the family returned to France.
Ramette and Vanderpol, who traveled frequently, had visited the United States before, when they toured some of the national parks out West. But they had no intention of living in the U.S., even though Quentin had dual French and U.S. citizenship.
When Vanderpol was offered a job as director of information technology at an international medical company in Canonsburg in 2014, however, they carefully weighed their options.
“We are not afraid to change a situation. We like the challenge,” said Ramette, explaining the pair made a list of reasons to stay in France or go. “We said, ‘Let’s go.’ It was a good opportunity for (Martial) and for Quentin. I never imagined in my life that one day I would live in the United States.”
Ramette said he and Vanderpol had considered every pro and con for moving to Washington County, except for one: a job for Ramette.
Ramette, who had worked for 18 years as a plumber and later an IT engineer for Herve Thermique, a thermal engineering company, found it difficult to find a job that was not in the service industry. He took a job at a Subway restaurant, where he tried to improve his English.
For Ramette, not working at a job in his field was frustrating, and affected his sense of independence.
“You think, ‘OK, this country is very nice, you will make your money,’ but it’s not true. It was very hard,” said Ramette. “If you are looking for a job that is not a fast-food restaurant or a Walmart, it’s difficult. It was, ‘OK, you are a good guy, but I don’t want to hire you.’ My first problem was my English.”
Vanderpol’s company provided an English tutor for Ramette, who had taken English classes in high school. But Ramette lucked into another opportunity to improve his English.
While volunteering at the Washington City Mission, another volunteer mentioned the Literacy Council of Southwestern Pennsylvania, a nonprofit agency in Washington that offers English as a Second Language classes.
He began attending ESL classes twice a week, where he studied one-on-one with tutor Kris Drach, and spoke English with classmates from countries throughout the world.
“Thierry is an amazing, upbeat guy who finds the best in everything and the humor in adversity,” said Drach. “An expert in his profession in our country it took him years to get a job commensurate with his skills and experience. It never got him down, though he knew his barrier was language skills and learning a foreign language is tough.”
He eventually landed a part-time job at Southpointe Telecom, where the manager was supportive and patient as Ramette worked to improve his English.
Ramette now works full time in IT at Unisys.
Ramette said he is happy in the U.S.
“I have an admiration that people in America are respectful of their neighbors, of the military and teachers. In Pittsburgh, people are so nice, they pay attention to other people around them. If you need help, or information, everybody here can help you.”
And, he notes, Trader Joe’s has an excellent variety of cheeses.
But there are cultural differences that he and Vanderpol have had trouble adjusting to. Among them are dinner routines.
In the United States, Ramette noted, “everyone has a calendar on the fridge” and runs through fast-food restaurants on their way to activities. In France, dinnertime remains a deep-rooted tradition, and families often spend more than an hour around the table, sharing events of their day.
“There is only one time per day you can be together. Every night, we have to eat together and speak about the day,” said Ramette. “Every family stays around the table and eats together and cleans up the table and work together. After that, parents and children do different things, but for one moment per day, we have the opportunity to be together. When you make dinner, it’s not just to eat. It’s not just because you are hungry. It’s because you need to share your food.”
Ramette and Vanderpol feel the same connection with dinner parties, and enjoy preparing French cuisine for friends. But, dinner parties in France are long affairs, and the pair has not yet grown accustomed to the briefness of American gatherings.
“Americans,” Ramette observed, “always seem to be in a hurry.”
There are more significant differences, too.
France offers universal health care, called “social security,” which is ranked as one of the best health care systems in the world. And they have been disturbed by the rise in hate crimes since 2016.
Ramette isn’t certain he and Vanderpol, who both hold green cards, will apply for U.S. citizenship.
But, they are enjoying raising Quentin – who speaks fluent English and French, and likes to study other languages, including Spanish at school and Chinese – in Southwestern Pennsylvania.
“I don’t need to live in the U.S. because of oppression, I don’t need to come for safety for my life. My son is American. We had a chance to come back for him and for us, and we had an opportunity to change our situation and see something different,” said Ramette, who returns to France once a year to visit family and keeps in contact with them often.
“But our family and friends are in Europe. We are happy to share this experience together in the United States. It has been a very good experience.”