Canonsburg couple match made in heaven
Courtesy of Kelly Deeter
Melissa and Scott Haines, of Canonsburg, stand on top of Mt. Washington on their wedding day, Aug. 11, 2018.
Courtesy of Stefani Lutz
Melissa and Scott Haines, of Canonsburg, and her son, Aidan Morse, 9, stand on top of Mt. Washington on their wedding day Aug. 11, 2018.
Courtesy of Kelly Deeter
Melissa and Scott Haines, of Canonsburg, pose for a Christmas photo with her son, Aidan Morse, 9, and their dog, Annie.
Melissa Haines met Ken Morse while she was in college in the early 2000s.
“He was my first boyfriend,” she said. “We were together for 13 years.”
Melissa was 25, and Ken was 28, when they were married in July 2006. Four years later they had their son, Aidan, and life seemed blissful. But in 2012, Ken developed strange symptoms.
“His vision was a little different, he’d forget where he parked his car at work, and he was just a little off altogether,” said Melissa, a Canonsburg resident, in a recent interview.
Ken went to the doctor for a scan and in the same day, they called him back for immediate surgery – he had brain cancer. He started treatment right away, and was diagnosed with a 5% chance of survival for five years, Melissa said.
“We took it as it came,” she said.
At the time, Ken worked for FedEx and she was a physical therapist at Canonsburg Hospital. They moved to a ranch house in Moon Township, one that had wheelchair accessibility.
“I knew where this was headed,” she said.
Ken was sick for three years before his death in November 2015. Melissa said she and Aidan, 5 at the time, received so much love and support from family and friends.
“Through this whole thing, Aidan had more faith and belief in heaven than any adult,” Melissa said. “He just knew his daddy was in a better place. And that helped me.”
By the following spring, Melissa and Aidan moved out of the house for a fresh start.
“That wasn’t a house where we had a lot of good memories,” she said. “You couldn’t just sit and be still, we had to continue our life. Through his illness, Ken and I talked about how he wanted us to be happy, and I’m glad we had those talks.”
In the months that followed, Melissa was often lonely. In May 2016, she signed up for a one-month free trial of Match.com. She didn’t tell anyone, thinking she would probably end up deleting it and no know would know.
Meanwhile, Scott Haines was getting fed up. He’d been using Match.com for more than a year and had trouble finding any matches. He figured that would be his final month.
“I was going to cancel my subscription,” he said. “But then Melissa messaged me, and we started talking.”
Melissa had strict rules about whom to message on Match – no grammatical or spelling errors, no profile pictures that had an ex-girlfriend obviously cut out and no shirtless bathroom selfies.
“I weeded them out very quickly,” she said.
Scott showed up as a match, they started talking and eventually agreed to go on a date, all within Melissa’s free trial of Match.com.
“She got me for free – what a bargain,” Scott joked.
But Melissa soon learned he absolutely was. The two of them met for dinner for a first date June 5, 2016. Melissa told her friend, Stefani Lutz, where she was going. She gave Lutz Scott’s picture, address, phone number and where they were going to dinner.
“You know, to cover my bases in case I came up missing,” she said.
It had been 13 years since her last first date, and she was very nervous. Scott was very smitten.
“She walked in with this bright green dress on and she looked beautiful,” Scott said. “I thought to myself, this could be the woman I spend the rest of my life with.”
That night, Melissa confided in Scott about Ken’s sickness, all that they had been through and what life was like for her and Aidan. She let Scott know if they should work out, he would have two mothers-in-law because she was so close with Ken’s mom. She also told him if Aidan didn’t like him, he would be kicked to the curb.
“I know I cried on our first date, and I thought, ‘well there goes that,'” she said. “But I wanted to be up front.”
It was a lot to take in on a first date with a woman he met online, but that didn’t scare Scott away.
“Even though it was the first date, I started caring a lot for her right then,” he said.
In fact, three days after that date, Scott quit smoking.
“When she told me about losing her husband to cancer, I knew that if I was going to keep seeing this girl, I had to quit smoking,” he said.
After two months of dating, Melissa told 6-year-old Aidan she wanted him to meet her friend, Scott. The three of them played mini golf.
“We didn’t hold hands or do any couple-y things,” she said. “Afterwards, I said, ‘so what do you think of my friend, Scott? And Aidan said, ‘Mommy, I know that’s your boyfriend. I like him.'”
It was the only approval they needed.
Scott became her second boyfriend, and shortly after her second husband. Scott proposed to Melissa two days before Christmas 2017, in front of the Christmas tree at Point State Park. All of their family and friends were supportive, including Ken’s family, who welcomed Scott into their lives.
“Ken set such a high bar, but Scott exceeded anything because he stepped up and knew what he was getting into,” Melissa said.
They were married Aug. 11, 2018, at the top of Mt. Washington at the Incline overlook, surrounded by Scott, Melissa and Ken’s families. Ken’s wedding band was sewn into Melissa’s dress.
“This shouldn’t have worked out,” Melissa said. “Statistically, I should have been on some really rough dates, but I didn’t go on any other dates or message any other guys. So I know that Ken was in heaven pulling some strings.”