Apr 14, 2015 2 min read

With so many ominous and ugly things happening in the world, it can be a relief to pick up a newspaper and read something less stress-inducing. When we need some comic relief or a recipient for our sympathy, often animals come to the rescue.

Yesterday’s front page featured a calf born with its heart in its throat. And the lead story in the Local section was about an alligator several persons claimed to see swimming and plucking ducks from the Monongahela River.

To have one’s heart in his throat is an expression that has come to describe high anxiety or fear. In centuries past, it described that sensation of pounding pulse we feel in a nervous encounter with another whom we love – our heartthrob.

The six-week-old calf has been confined to the barn on an Amwell Township farm because his owner, Tom Leech, fears the heart might be injured in rough play with other young bulls.

“Tom is so attached,” Leech’s wife, Debbie, said. “He’ll just come out here and sit and keep him company.”

What will become of this animal with the unusual deformity and big brown eyes? We don’t know, but the calf’s name is, after all, “Brisket.”

Meanwhile, there is a river monster to think about.

An alligator was independently spotted recently cruising against the current and dining on ducklings. Southwest police chief John Hartman said earlier this week there were no new sightings of the reptile, which he surmised may have hitched a ride all the way from Louisiana on a barge.

Aquatorium Innovations, the organization that manages summer concerts in Monongahela, chose the alligator as its mascot and is asking the public to come up with a name. We might suggest a few of our own, employing the names of the Mon Valley. For starters, how about Donoragator, or Charli Gato? Crocifornia or Allenport Alli, anyone?

Our favorite: Webster.