Things I’d like my grandchildren to know
By Nick Jacobs
If you’re lucky enough to have made it into your late seventies, it means you have been given some extra time to reflect, to look back, and hopefully to observe things that occurred in your life that you may be able to share with younger people. The idea is to try to help them a little on their journey, to make it a little easier, less stressful, and happier.
In some cultures, the sharing of wisdom from the elders is an absolute given. They are looked upon as the holders of wisdom and experience that will hopefully keep the younger generation from hitting the speed bumps or stepping on the landmines that were so painful to them on their path through life.
We may not be as spry as we once were. We may not be as flexible, but, assuming we’re not riddled with dementia, some of us are still tack sharp. Even though I’m on plenty of different medications, I’m still focused. So, let me lay out some information that may be helpful to you.
Although you may know or think you know something more accurately than the next person, unless it’s life-threatening, stop correcting other adults. I know it demonstrates your superiority, but especially if it is not a critical correction, it’s typically embarrassing or at least annoying. Believe me when I tell you, peace is a lot better than perfection, especially when family and loved ones are involved.
Give out sincere compliments freely. It costs you nothing, but it can mean so much to the recipient. Yes, we should be somewhat cautious about the types of compliments we give in today’s uptight culture, but there are plenty of safe compliments just waiting to be given. Making people feel good about themselves can make such a difference in so many very positive ways. Be generous with your words.
Once a very long time ago, I read a book about life, and the author said, “Never drive past a kid’s lemonade stand.” Ever since then, regardless of my level of thirst, my desire to drink unregulated beverages mixed by 7 year-olds, or even my time constraints, I always stop, buy a drink, and pay generously for the privilege of being served by the young entrepreneurs who went to all the trouble to open a business in front of their home.
The same is true about tipping. For the most part, the person providing the service is very dependent upon our generosity. It’s not like Europe, where people in the service industry make a living wage, have benefits, and can enjoy a middle-class lifestyle. Seriously, minimum wage or below is not a living wage. Tip generously even if it stretches your resources.
Oh, and stop nickel and diming vendors over petty items. They work hard for the money. Okay, you do, too, but bickering over pennies is no longer what it used to be.
Here’s a big one. Master the art of walking away from jerks. Purple hearts are not typically given to civilians. It’s not worth the tension, grief, or mental anguish to allow yourself to be harassed or deeply engaged in conflicts with jerks.
In that same vein, it’s easier to drop the ego than ruin a relationship. Egos are important as is a positive self-image, but when ego takes over in a relationship, things usually go sideways quickly. It’s okay to be wrong or admit that there is more than one way to view a topic.
Having said that, it’s also very important that you aren’t embarrassed by your own emotions. It’s okay. And, by the way, it’s important to love yourself. Yes, you love your family and your friends, but you’ve got to learn to love yourself, too.
Finally, the bottom line? Try like heck to do things that make you happy.
Nick Jacobs is a Windber resident.