Redefining aging
A puppy or kitten playing clumsily with a toy is certainly categorized as cute. Babies, with their contagious smiles and giggling squeals, are adorable. But when it comes to talking about older adults, please refrain from talking about how ‘cute’ or ‘adorable’ they are. And, do not refer to them as ‘sweetie’ or ‘honey.’ Terms of endearment can carry different meanings and lead to judgments or assumptions at any age. One of the most damaging behaviors of ageism is to begin treating older adults like children, and words are often part of the problem.
As much as no one wants to be stereotyped by race, ethnicity or gender, or be lumped into one description (i.e., “all millennials are apathetic”), older people shouldn’t be generalized by what they can and cannot do, what they have or and don’t have, how they look or don’t look. The “cute little lady” could very well have served our country in the war, raised five children, and been the president of a company.
Another language error commenting on behaviors that may seem uncharacteristic of someone their age. Saying things like, “she’s 85 and STILL dancing,” or, “they’re 90 and just signed up for an online course,” can be interpreted to mean that people of certain ages shouldn’t be doing certain activities. Older people enjoy doing all sorts of different things, just like their younger counterparts.
Residents of Pittsburgh’s premier senior living community, Providence Point, are open about the unconscious and subtle ageist remarks that pop up in everyday conversations. During a Saturday morning corn hole tournament, a quick survey of a few of the retired (and some not-so-retired) educators, medical professionals, and business leaders who live at Providence Point indicated that most had experienced ageist remarks. “People will say something like ‘you’re STILL running?’ or ‘you’re STILL traveling?’ Although I’m not offended, it shows that younger people are unfamiliar with what life in your 70s and 80s can be,” said one corn hole competitor.
Another resident who is a retired nurse added, “There is so much to do in life, and in our lives here at Providence Point.” Then, she quickly apologized for not having more time to spare. She was off to finalize plans for a tailgate party scheduled for later that day.
Several of the people at the bi-weekly corn hole tournament acknowledged Roland Nace, one of the first people to call Providence Point home. He started up the Saturday corn hole program and, as it grew, he got support from his daughter Cyndi to develop a tournament structure. “The game is very popular. Some of the folks participating had never played before, but they are becoming real pros. We needed to grow to meet demand, prompting prizes, annual awards, and bragging rights.”
At Providence Point, residents can be found competing in water volleyball, learning new skills in IPad classes, practicing yoga–the list goes on. In many cases they’re not “STILL” doing something, living at Providence Point has given them the freedom and opportunity to try out things they may have always wanted to do but never had the opportunity.
Providence Point is a neighborhood full of personalities determined to continue to enjoy life, stay current, and to experience new things. They are defeating ageist stereotypes and defining what aging is.
Resident-born events, classes and programs abound–from drama club to wine tastings, dance lessons to progressive dinners, and Tai Chi classes to bocce–and people living at Providence Point, whether they are 62 or 92, want it that way.
With resident committees for recreation, education, art and even marketing, Providence Point won’t be deemed cute, rather a trend-setting community and a neighborhood of go-getters determined to let no ageist remark or endearment slow them down.
This article is written by Marilyn Walsh and brought to you by Providence Point.