Caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients need to care for themselves as well
Caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients
need to care for themselves as well
Alzheimer’s is an unforgiving enemy that steals memories and the faces of loved ones – the same loved ones who do their best to take care of those who no longer remember who they are.
Terrie Eger and Kathy Scarpaci who run the Alzheimer’s support group at Monongahela Valley Hospital, said there are several things that caregivers need to keep in mind when taking care of an Alzheimer’s patient.
“One of the biggest things we hear in the support group is that their loved one repeats themselves all the time,” said Scarpaci. “You have to remember, to that individual with Alzheimer’s, it’s the first time they’ve asked the question. It’s important to answer in a way that confirms the question and then redirect them.”
Telling little white lies with an Alzheimer’s patient is also not a bad thing.
“We want to be honest with those we love, but with an Alzheimer’s/dementia patient, a little white lie is a good thing because some really struggle with the truth,” Scarpaci said.
For example, if the patient has had their license taken away, they might not remember and want to drive. It might not be the best option to tell them that they’ve had their license taken away because that escalates into a conflict, puts them on the defensive and makes things more difficult, Scarpaci said.
“It would be best to redirect and tell them you have to drive because you have an appointment somewhere or something like that,” Scarpaci said. “It’s that individuals reality that they have a car and can drive, and no amount of arguing will change their mind and will only increase the frustration level on both parts.”
If a situation does occur where frustration levels start to mount, it’s very important to take a time out, walk away and take some deep breaths before reengaging.
Because an individual with dementia or Alzheimer’s has difficulty following directions or doing regular, every-day activities, Scarpaci said it’s important to do what’s necessary to keep the individual safe.
“You want to be looking for any signs of exit seeking behavior,” she said. “You may need to get their license taken from them and if you see impaired judgement, you might have to disable the stove if there’s a chance they might forget to turn it off.”
But if there are serious red flags or concerns for safety with the individual living in their own home, the next step might be looking into a facility or community whose employees are trained to take care of these patients.
Eger, who is a certified dementia practitioner with the mental health community Arden Courts in Jefferson Hills, said it’s easy for individuals to feel guilty for thinking about putting their loved Alzheimer’s patient into a facility rather than take care of them on their own.
“It’s important for them to know that they’re not giving up care,” she said. “They’re choosing to allow professionals who have been trained to do this to provide the care.
“When you allow them to move into a mental health community, you’re actually doing a better job as their caretaker because you have time to take care of yourself, which allows you to be better able to take care of them,” Eger said.
Scarpaci added that when you step back from the role of having to hold everything together for the patient every moment of the day, you’ll be able to spend more quality time with them.
Both Scarpaci and Eger stressed the importance of caretakers taking time to care for themselves if they want to effectively take care of their loved one.
“Those caretakers are grieving the loss of someone they love before they actually lose them physically,” said Scarpaci, who is employed with Comfort Keepers, a non-medical in-home care service. “Even though they are the same, they are different and that takes a toll on the caregiver emotionally, socially and financially.”
Becoming part of a support group is very important because it helps the caretaker to understand that they are not alone and allows them the opportunity to get advice on an issue they might be having that someone else has already experienced.
Accepting help from family members or looking for outside professional caregiver agencies if you’re still caring for a loved one in their home, is also important.
“Find some way to nurture your own spirit and take care of yourself,” Scarpaci said. “Don’t put off your own medical procedures because you don’t feel you can take the time away.”
Respite programs are also available if someone needs that. The Fayette County Area on Aging may have information on various programs that might be available and the Alzheimer’s Association of Greater Pennsylvania can also be a resource.
“There’s help out there, so you need to get connected,” said Eger.