ANN JEFFERS
It’s funny, when I last talked to you I was trying to get a bridge built in West Africa, there was a coup. The mental health stuff has always been a challenge for me, I can think back to when I was a teenager and had symptoms of bipopre disorder but wasn’t a problem that needed to be addressed until my 30s, was trying to get pregantatt, took fertility medication, mood went all over, had psychosis, paranoia, I was o irritable, one minute I was raging with anger, the new tminute I was crying, so a saw a therapist, symptoms continued to escalate, given diagnosis of bipolar with psychotic features, there’s a lot of stigma around that, toughtou I was going to be …..dangerous.
In 2006, toward beginning of my phd who escaped on campus, killed security guard and someone else, then in April 2007 the shooting happened, I wasn’t on campus, when the shooting happened, but happened in a building…
several members of my department were killed, I didn’t’ know them personally but felt a tremendous loss.
In 2009 a brutal murder took place in graduate center, it was the culmination of those three evens that was quite traumatic, I had nightmares and ptsd but didn’t’ feel like I deserved diagnosis, there were people who were there and they deserved it. I brushed it off and didn’t think about it.
there’s a scene in my book when a student sits down in my class in the middle of when I’m teaching, I panicked, thought this is the end, I ended class abruptly, ran to car and had a panic attack. Made it almost impossible for me to teach, I had huge amounts of anxiety, my book describes the end of 2013 to 2014 when I was actively symptomatic, having dealing with psychosis, having PTSD , here I was on the tenure track assistant professor coming up for associate professor for tenure, therapist said don’t tell your employer, instances where I should have been hospitalized but wasn’t because I didn’t want to do my job but it was nearly impossible to do my job, made it through the year with ups and downs, I said it’s been quite an aepxreince, quite a story, need to sit down and write it down for catharsis. I wrote the book I needed to read at the time I was most unwell.
I’ve read books from people who had mental health issues, but didn’t resonate. I put pen to paper, knowing I needed to get the story out there, part of my recovery was getting involved in volunteering, my parents always stressed to me volunteering and service, I needed to do some service for mental health so I asserted with Fresh Start HOUSE in Ann Arbor Mich, I started teaching basic computer literacy classes, what I found was that just by engaging with people with mental illness symptoms like I epseirencexd made me feel less alone. Finished the book recently, looked for traditional publisher.
But was invited by a professional society in my field, fire safety association, gave me opportunity to invited me to give a talk on mental health…..so I’m going to self-publish it, so I started an LLC, I’m doing it, it’s supposed to come out Nov. 30.
So treatment for me looks like going to therapy weekly, that is a big part of managing the illness, we plan ahead, I’m headed to Japan in two weeks, planning out my meds with bipolar, sleep Is a big factor, the other aspect to it is medications, the aspect is I take mood stabilizer, antispyschotic, that cocktail is important to keeping me on the
These medications require some fine tuning. bipolar is a lifelong illness and I probably wouldn’t be where I am, I am probably at the peak of my mental health, I’m able to do my job and teach classes and write papers and do all of the things I like to do, the sentiment is
I know that it’s not worth the price, I don’t want to go back to the situation in 2013 and 2014 where I was having active sumptuous of spysichos and suicidal ideation, I’m happy to to.
My wife and I now have three children, two adopted through foster care system, after I had gone through this episode in 2013 and 2014, fostered a girl in 2016, she’s 7 (since baby) in 2017, as baby, she’s almost 5. Every one of our kids has some form of disability so we really have our hands full. I talk about how having bipolar has made me a better parent for my kids because I understand the need for doctors appointments, I think that experience has prepared me for the
I started out for my PhD work stored sturcual response under fire hazards, motived by 9/11 buildings, many fully or partially collapsed due to fire effects. We wanted to simulate that behavior, hadn’t done much in the U.S. regarding fire resistance using fire test. Computation modeling of structures and fire, got a career award to study traveling fires in buildings, when you have a large building, how does that moving fire affect structural performance. My attention was taken away from research almost completely during my illness, then we were fostering 4 children, that took up all of my energy, fostering in the system is more difficult…
I wasn’t active in research at all, there was a moratorium on my area of research, so in 2020, right in the middle of the pandemic I decided to rebuild my research program and move into a new area, submitted several proposals but I got a grant through National Science Fouandation for modeling stuctural ignition due to fire brands, lifted by wildfire carried by wind and landing on a home. We want to create some new computational models and develop tools scienceitsts can use to predict igniting of homes, so I’m moving into this basic wildfires, it’s exciting for me because I like to do work that is going to benefit society, Trying to rebuild .
the wildfire stuff and teaching has always been a passion of mine, the classes I teach are on analysis and computation related to structural mechanics, up to advanced graduate level, I’m writing a text book, contract with John Wiley and Sons, for book used by structural engineers….
That’s how we roll at Uof M. the leaders and the best…..
Trinity Alumni Award. Tokyo the day after…..