The password is … password
I don’t have any pets, unless you count peeves. I have a long list of petty annoyances. Most of them are minor irritations that irk me. Frankly, the list is longer than a CVS receipt. I get over it quickly. Except for this: I’m at my wits’ end when it comes to these security questions on the computer.
There was a meme going around the internet that read: “Hacker: I have all your passwords. Me: Great! Thank you! Can you give them to me?”
That meme hit me hard. I blame my terrible memorization skills, or lack thereof.
Picture it: It’s Monday morning, and I arrive at work, settle in with a cup of hot tea, and log on. Then, a small box appears, asking me for my username and password, and at 8:31 in the morning, my day goes downhill from there.
I type “Lilo and Stitch,” but all squished together like “LiloandStitch.”
“Password does not match.”
I try it again.
“Password does not match.”
I type the password I had before I started using “Lilo & Stitch”
I need to visit the “Forgot Password” section and retrieve an email or text to reset my password. Luckily, the company can send the reset to my phone because I still can’t get into my computer.
I type “Lilo & Stitch” to be the new password, since that’s the one I can remember.
Nope.
“The new password can’t be a password you used in the past.”
The computer recognizes that I’ve used “Lilo & Stitch” as a password, so why not just let me in? I’m sitting there going, “You know it’s me!”
I get it. They are trying to make sure no jerk-face gets my information and logs on.
P.S. If you want to log on as me, use my work computer, do my work, and let me collect the check – I won’t stop you.
Side note: When a bank teller asks me for my driver’s license when I’m depositing money, I always remind them that if a total stranger wants to deposit money in this account, please let them. I don’t want any strangers to take the money out. To recap: deposit, yes; withdrawal, no.
But I digress, like I do. I’m tired of this message: “The password must contain 12 to 16 characters, include a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and diacritic marks, Greek and Cyrillic characters.”
They (Big Computer) want you to use a password that looks like the Sarge swearing at Beetle Bailey: “#$@%!”
When I upgraded my phone, I discovered that I could download and store passwords in a secure location. I have a list of passwords on my phone that I can unlock with my face. I like being able to use my face for something.
Excuse me, I have to come up with something clever that I can remember the next time this happens.
I’m sure I’ll forget the new password 10 seconds after I reset it.